


It Always Hurts

by Girrlkitty



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Fanfic.net, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-21
Updated: 2006-04-21
Packaged: 2017-11-10 01:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/460732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girrlkitty/pseuds/Girrlkitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carson Beckett comes to grips with losing patients</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Always Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my first foray into writing fanfic, so be kind! Feedback is appreciated. Special thanks to Dee and Yllek, who guilted me into writing, then were kind enough to beta for me.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: The Stargate, SGA, the Wraith, and all characters that have appeared in the series STARGATE ATLANTS, together with the names, titles, and back story, are the sole copyright property of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc., the SciFi Channel, and Acme Shark. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea, and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

Dr. Carson Beckett stood on a balcony and watched the sun heave its way out of the ocean. If only everything in life could be that predictable.  
It had been a long night, but he couldn't go face sleep just yet. Exhaustion warred with his fear of the dreams. He had added a few more to the list of those he had lost, and that always ended up coming out as soon as he closed his eyes. Rest was anything but restful, and he knew it would take a few days, weeks, months, before he could sleep soundly or easily again.

The day had started out quiet enough. The infirmary had no pressing patients, just the usual bruises and headaches. And he knew – thought he knew – there would be nothing major coming in, since Colonel Sheppard and his team, the problem children, were firmly on Atlantis ground.

He had been catching up on paperwork, with vague ideas about seeing if Rodney wanted to get some dinner and play checkers later. He liked checkers, since it was a game he had a halfway decent change of beating the man at.

That was when his headset had beeped, with Elizabeth shouting for a medical team to the gateroom stat. After a startled moment, jarred out of his reverie, he mobilized his team and ran to see what was wrong.

It was a Major he didn't know very well, who led a team of Marines he didn't know that well, on a mission he knew next to nothing about. Apparently the planet they thought was uninhabited did, in fact, have current occupants. And their hospitality left something to be desired.

Two of them were gone before Carson even had a chance to get them to the infirmary. They died as he watched, helpless to save them, to fix things, make them better. He had to move on, to the next patient, the next problem.

Another, despite all the resources they could bring to bear, died an hour later. The last, the Major, was still alive, and stable for the moment, but he was badly injured. Carson never did get the specifics of what had happened, and he was honest enough with himself to know that he wouldn't try to find out. His dreams didn't need more fuel.

With a sigh, he pushed off the railing, brushing away the traces of moisture staining his cheeks, and went back inside. He might not want to succumb to sleep, but he knew better than to push himself. He had a patient who would need him at his best, or at least close, later in the day.

And after all, if he staggered, let himself get lost in the grief, he wouldn't be there to put everyone else back together. And losing someone through negligence would be worse than having them die with their blood flowing through his fingers.


End file.
